...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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