Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
