I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
