Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
