Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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