i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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