So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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