talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
