You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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