I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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