dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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