Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
