how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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