I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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