yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
