We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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