I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
