Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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