Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
