OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
BRING THE BAGELS
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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