She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
