look no pants
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
