Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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