Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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