Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
