The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
