That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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