dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
