i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
