How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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