remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
