Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
