how can u be prego again
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
