You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
