i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
