i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
