yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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