you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
