you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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