Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize