He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
