Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
