this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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