I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
