I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
