I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
