Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
