Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
