I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this will be a night to untag.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
