she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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