honey bunches of taint.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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