When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
