New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize