They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
