Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
