ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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