...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He better not be in your backpack
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
