Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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