Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
