I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
