I'm jealous of your bromance
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
