my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
where am i from again
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
