i think my mom watched the whole time
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
