We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just want nice things and good sex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
