I wish my penis had an off switch
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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